chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize