please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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