Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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