So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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