i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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