She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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