I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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