sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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