I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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