So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize