break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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