hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize