i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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