It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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