shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize