I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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