I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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