Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize