Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
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I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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