I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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