Four minutes until I can fart!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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