Define "chronic" masturbator.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize