perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize