She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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