all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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