I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize