2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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