I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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