just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize