He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize