u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You made out with two different species that night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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