Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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