he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well I just put wine in my tea
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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