wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
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Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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