My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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