How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
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This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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