A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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