weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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