Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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