I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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