oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize