OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize