My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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