my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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