I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize