He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize