There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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