just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize