Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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