come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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